i realized last night how much better i like who i am now compared to who i was when i was in my early 20’s. imnot done. im most definitely not a fully baked cookie.but i can forgive easier. instead of being pissed and having a full fledged knock down drag out fight i can hold it and calmly talk it out. (cant lie. sometimes i feel the need to break it down in some cases). before i had a don’t give a shit bravado. i don’t need you. you didn’t hurt me, you cant hurt me. but that’s all it was. a front. nobody really needed to know what hurt me, what knocks me down. as ivegotten older i’m getting braver. (not as brave as id truly like to be yet tho). also trying to put faith into people that id normally throw away. im trying to give second chances. and have faith that what i saw in the first place was real and not a facade.my biggest challenge is to not worry and to let go. i want to be one of those people that can say oh well, no big deal. what will be, will be. im trying. trying to be more open, loving, forgiving. trying to take chances.and im finally ready to trust a guy and let him in. its been a long time. ive pushed away, said no, i cant and missed chances with people i truley liked . done with that. done. now accepting applications. ; )
Crying at my desk. This is not good. I had been doing decently at holding back the tears all day until I talked to my dad. Now I’m trapped in this little cubicle until I can get a hold of myself. It’s almost better at being at work because it’s a distraction. When I leave here today, I’ll have to go back to facing everything.
This might be the first time I’ve ever wanted to be at this job.
all your tumblr peps have ur back